A young husband texted me recently, asking for himself and his wife, "What's a good devotional for us to do?" They've been married just over a year. I performed their wedding ceremony, and my wife and I did their premarital prep sessions.
Geez. I'm not necessarily the guy to ask about this. I find that husbands and wives struggle in this area and part of the struggle is related to expectations. I'm not talking about "all" women and "all" men, but I've noticed that she often expects him to "be more spiritual." And he wants her to "be less pushy" in this area. Sounds a bit like an age-old issue in a lot of relationships, huh? So what I mean is that my friend's request is never as simple as "suggesting a devotional" for couples to do together. Unless couples deal with the expectations, in my opinion, their devotional connection will never be as rich as it could be.
Here's how I responded to him:
Very glad you asked the question. Here are some options for you...
1. Consider a book that you can read devotionally, more to nurture your soul than for the information. Not a study for your mind but input for your heart and soul... Like rereading Nouwen’s Becoming the Beloved. Or consider the book Jesus Calling. It seems to be helping a lot of people right now.
2. You could also consider a structured format that you can use outright or adapt, like the one from the Book of Common Prayer (BCP). It has prayers and scripture readings for morning, noon, evening, and bedtime. You use the written prayers and readings as the typical approach to do together (like a basic down and out to your receiver), but you then adapt the approach according to what’s on your heart that day (like when you and the receiver read that the defensive back is in too tight so the receiver blows by him for a straight fly pattern). The thing I like about the BCP is that the format alone, over time, can shape and deepen your connection with God.
3. You could also try some online stuff like Pray As You Go, from the Jesuits in the UK, or Common Prayer from Shane Claiborne, et. al.
Let me know which you choose and what you think.
You might even ask Jesus to show you a section of scripture to read from together each month. (But just read and reflect on it. Let it speak to you. Don't get into a debate about what it means.)
How would you have answered my friend? What helps you and your spouse connect with God, together?
